How To Avoid The Pitfalls, Wrong Turns, Broken Hearts Of Online Dating
Copyright (c) 2009-2012 Lance Metzger
As an experienced online dater, I feel qualified to help you avoid
pitfalls, wrong turns, broken hearts, and the general
catastrophes associated with internet wooing.
When you join your first online dating community, you will be
required to fill in personal information. Please be honest. You
are shorter and fatter than you think.
However, you have to be true to yourself too. Do not embellish
your life just because you think that is what the opposite sex
wants to hear. If you create a fake persona, you will regret it
and look like a liar.
Warning: Prepare To Be Overwhelmed!
After signing up, uploading your picture and answering personal
questions, you will be bombarded with images of single people all
wanting to be friends with you. It is a heady experience, but it
isn’t real.
* Think of online dating as “an Ebay for your heart.” Yeah,
there is a lot of stuff on there, but you don’t need it all.
It’s like going to the mall with unlimited credit. Take a deep
breath and remember that these are people, not things to be
purchased.
* Take it slow. Don’t act like the greedy kid in Willie Wonka.
You are way better than that. Remember that the person you pick
to correspond with is also connecting with other people. So, do
yourself a favor and don’t tell all your friends about this
great guy/gal you met. Chances are your new “mate” might not be
around in three days and you will look like a desperate loser.
* Keep in mind that this is a “dating” website and some people
are looking to date many people as possible because, after all,
they paid for it.
* Take your time to correspond and build up a friendship before
you agree to meet someone in person. In the car business,
salespeople encourage you to take a test drive to promote in you
a feeling of “ownership.” If you want a shot at more than just
a string of one time coffee dates, you have to do the same. You
need to become “real” to the person you are interested in.
Write. Text. Whatever. Let your potential partner see you as a
person. Let a friendship grow naturally so when you finally meet
it is with a sense of anticipation, not dread. A date will be
less likely to dump you on the spot if they are eager to meet you
despite your shortcomings, and you will be more likely to
overlook their receding hairline or less-than-perfect abs.
Follow All The Safety Rules
Meet in a public place, let a friend know where you will be, and
don’t give out personal contact information until you are sure
that your date is reasonably trustworthy. Bad things don’t
happen very often, but they do happen.
Don’t believe everything your date tells you. Caveat Emptor –
Buyer Beware.
Be financially savvy. Dating sites are in this for the money.
They offer you the “convenience” of debiting your checking
account or credit card every month. Stay aware of when this
deduction will occur, or even keep a calendar specifically for
this purpose. Cancel your membership if you feel like you have
met someone special and no longer need the service, or if you
feel like this just isn’t working out for you.
Do not let your naysaying friends talk you out of this. In the
past, “computer dating” had a negative connotation; happily, I
believe that is changing. Users now realize that people on a
dating site are busy professionals who don’t like meeting
potential partners in a more traditional way (i.e., bars). The
men aren’t creepy weirdos and the women aren’t chubby
introverts….well, at least, not all of us.
Finally, be realistic. You will never meet the perfect person and
you will never be the perfect person. Relax. Readjust your
expectations and you and your date will have much more fun.
That’s what its all about, isn’t it?
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Lance Metzger writes about relationships, offline and online
dating. Our no-strings-attached dating site has become a popular
online adult dating destination, due to its large membership
base of people looking for relationships of all kinds. Learn
more at: http://www.nsadatingsite.com/
Consider Lance’s new Kindle book, “Making Memories: Creative
Dating Ideas”: http://raintreepublishing.com/creative-dating-ideas/