10 Hot Picks from Agent Provocateur
Looking for Something Really Special
Why So Many People Have Tried Dating And Are Still Alone
Let’s face it; we all want to find our special someone. Even on
a “No Strings Attached” dating site, I am looking for a regular
girlfriend.
Unfortunately, too many people involved in the Dating Game are
hurting their chances of success, before they even go on that
first date.
I will give you an example or two.
One lady I knew a few years back had been single for years. Her
older sister thought she and I would be a good match, so the
older sister played matchmaker. I agreed to at least give the
younger sister a chance, so I tried to set up our first date.
But, I never actually got the chance to go out with my friend’s
little sister.
Why? You might be surprised.
The younger sister would only agree to go out on a first date
with me, IF I promised to marry her!!!
I would not make that kind of promise. Sure, I was looking for a
wife, but I was not going to commit to marriage with a woman with
whom I had never been on a date!
I still see the younger sister’s profile in Yahoo Personals
every time I look in her hometown to see who is available. We are
actually 15 years down the road. I have been in a few
relationships, including one marriage, and yet she is still
looking for her next husband.
There was another lady for whom I was very fond, and I really
wanted to date. But her deal was that she would not agree to a
date, unless I would agree to date her for several months.
I did not even know whether I would like her after our first
date, let alone like her enough to date her for several months
based on a commitment made before I got to know her. (She is also
still looking for a boyfriend on Yahoo Personals, as well.)
Put yourself in my shoes. If you were to go out with me, you may
decide after the first date that we are not compatible. So why
would you want to commit to several months worth of dates or even
marriage prior to your first date with me? You wouldn’t, would
you?
“No Strings Attached” is the only way to date, if you ask me.
We should have the freedom to go on a date, without having to
commit ourselves to anything beyond that first date. We should
feel that we have the freedom to say no. If we don’t work
together as a couple, there should be no expectation to drag it
out for months with no positive end in sight.
We should all have the freedom to choose if we want to go on a
second date, a third date, or even a twentieth date.
We should only seek marriage because we both want to be married
to each other. We should not ever feel obligated to marriage on a
first date or third.
So here I am. I don’t want to lie to you. My personal integrity
will not allow me to lie to you.
But, if you want me to agree to multiple dates or marriage before
we go on our first date, then the only way that you and I will
ever go out is if I let my integrity fall by the wayside.
The only commitment I can make to you is that if I like you, we
can go out twice. If we continue to mutually like one another,
then maybe we can go out on a third date. And maybe some day, we
will decide that we would be a good pair in marriage.
And if this is not acceptable to you, then I might have to throw
my personal integrity out the window, and lie to you, just so I
can go on that first date with you to see if we could be a good
match.
If you don’t want guys to lie to you about the future, then
don’t ask them to commit to something that no person in their
right mind will commit to before the first date!
———————————————————————
Lance Metzger writes about relationships, offline and online
dating. Our no-strings-attached dating site has become a popular
online adult dating destination, due to its large membership
base of people looking for relationships of all kinds. Learn
more at: http://www.nsadatingsite.com/
Consider Lance’s new Kindle book, “Making Memories: Creative
Dating Ideas”: http://raintreepublishing.com/creative-dating-ideas/
Why So Many People Have Tried Dating And Are Still Alone
Let’s face it; we all want to find our special someone. Even on
a “No Strings Attached” dating site, I am looking for a regular
girlfriend.
Unfortunately, too many people involved in the Dating Game are
hurting their chances of success, before they even go on that
first date.
I will give you an example or two.
One lady I knew a few years back had been single for years. Her
older sister thought she and I would be a good match, so the
older sister played matchmaker. I agreed to at least give the
younger sister a chance, so I tried to set up our first date.
But, I never actually got the chance to go out with my friend’s
little sister.
Why? You might be surprised.
The younger sister would only agree to go out on a first date
with me, IF I promised to marry her!!!
I would not make that kind of promise. Sure, I was looking for a
wife, but I was not going to commit to marriage with a woman with
whom I had never been on a date!
I still see the younger sister’s profile in Yahoo Personals
every time I look in her hometown to see who is available. We are
actually 15 years down the road. I have been in a few
relationships, including one marriage, and yet she is still
looking for her next husband.
There was another lady for whom I was very fond, and I really
wanted to date. But her deal was that she would not agree to a
date, unless I would agree to date her for several months.
I did not even know whether I would like her after our first
date, let alone like her enough to date her for several months
based on a commitment made before I got to know her. (She is also
still looking for a boyfriend on Yahoo Personals, as well.)
Put yourself in my shoes. If you were to go out with me, you may
decide after the first date that we are not compatible. So why
would you want to commit to several months worth of dates or even
marriage prior to your first date with me? You wouldn’t, would
you?
“No Strings Attached” is the only way to date, if you ask me.
We should have the freedom to go on a date, without having to
commit ourselves to anything beyond that first date. We should
feel that we have the freedom to say no. If we don’t work
together as a couple, there should be no expectation to drag it
out for months with no positive end in sight.
We should all have the freedom to choose if we want to go on a
second date, a third date, or even a twentieth date.
We should only seek marriage because we both want to be married
to each other. We should not ever feel obligated to marriage on a
first date or third.
So here I am. I don’t want to lie to you. My personal integrity
will not allow me to lie to you.
But, if you want me to agree to multiple dates or marriage before
we go on our first date, then the only way that you and I will
ever go out is if I let my integrity fall by the wayside.
The only commitment I can make to you is that if I like you, we
can go out twice. If we continue to mutually like one another,
then maybe we can go out on a third date. And maybe some day, we
will decide that we would be a good pair in marriage.
And if this is not acceptable to you, then I might have to throw
my personal integrity out the window, and lie to you, just so I
can go on that first date with you to see if we could be a good
match.
If you don’t want guys to lie to you about the future, then
don’t ask them to commit to something that no person in their
right mind will commit to before the first date!
———————————————————————
Lance Metzger writes about relationships, offline and online
dating. Our no-strings-attached dating site has become a popular
online adult dating destination, due to its large membership
base of people looking for relationships of all kinds. Learn
more at: http://www.nsadatingsite.com/
Consider Lance’s new Kindle book, “Making Memories: Creative
Dating Ideas”: http://raintreepublishing.com/creative-dating-ideas/
Wal-Mart Has Everything You Need Including Your Next Dating Prospect
The difficulty of adult dating was brought home to me the other
day.
My 20-year-old nephew came to live with me and my kids, until he
can get on his own two feet financially. His hometown – my
hometown is really small… providing little opportunity to
someone looking to get started in life on the right foot.
He spends his days looking for a job, and now and again, he will
slip out in the evening time.
I never really gave much thought about his evening time getaways.
He is an adult – he can do what he wants to do with his own time.
But by chance, I asked him the other evening if he had gone to
that bar that allows 18-year-old’s to enter. He said he had not.
He explained that he did not feel comfortable enough with finding
his way around town, to be able to find the bar without getting
lost.
A bit surprised, I asked him where he went on Friday night…
His answer was even more surprising…
He was going out to meet girls his own age… Starting
conversations in convenience stores, restaurants, and WAL-MART!!!
Until now, I knew that you could find anything you ever wanted at
Wal-Mart… I just never stopped to think of it as a place to
meet new women…
I have to give him credit for creativeness…
My nephew is at that somewhat awkward age – after high school and
before he has turned 21. He is also in a new place, where he does
not know his way around town, and in a town where he does not
know anyone but our family and our small circle of friends, all
of whom are at least ten years older and with children.
I do the online dating thing, but to my knowledge, he is not
exploring the prospects for online dating in our town… And even
if he did, although we are in a bigger town than the one he came
from, we are still living in a mid-sized town with limited dating
possibilities. I know this is true, because even though I find
people to date in the town I live in – through online dating
sites – I frequently date people from nearby small towns as well.
His mother – my sister – having been a single mother for most of
the last ten years seems to have taught my nephew the importance
of starting conversations to lead to that next date. His mother
has not had Internet access since she and my nephew’s dad were
divorced. So while I was exploring the big beautiful world of
online dating, she was still dating the old-fashioned way.
Ten years down the road, my sister has found a replacement for
her first husband and now she has a new baby at home, nineteen
years younger than her first child. I tease her that she finally
got her kid raised and out of the house, and now she has to do it
all over again…
At first I thought that until my nephew gets into a regular job,
a regular church, and a regular daily routine, I suspected that
it will be somewhat difficult for him in the dating world. But
then again, maybe not… He actually already has a list of phone
numbers he has acquired on his evening time adventures…
In this day and age, many people think of online dating as the
quickest and most economical way to find someone worth spending
their time… But as my nephew has reminded me… There was a
time before the Internet, and those dating techniques used before
the Internet age actually still work today…
So the next time you are out on the town and you meet someone who
strikes your fancy, walk up to them and say Hi. Show interest and
it could lead to a phone number. Finally, with a phone number in
hand, follow up. You never know where that phone call might take
you and your heart’s interest…
———————————————————————
Lance Metzger writes about relationships, offline and online
dating. Our no-strings-attached dating site has become a popular
online adult dating destination, due to its large membership
base of people looking for relationships of all kinds. Learn
more at: http://www.nsadatingsite.com/
Consider Lance’s new Kindle book, “Making Memories: Creative
Dating Ideas”: http://raintreepublishing.com/creative-dating-ideas/