Why So Many People Have Tried Dating And Are Still Alone
Let’s face it; we all want to find our special someone. Even on
a “No Strings Attached” dating site, I am looking for a regular
Unfortunately, too many people involved in the Dating Game are
hurting their chances of success, before they even go on that
I will give you an example or two.
One lady I knew a few years back had been single for years. Her
older sister thought she and I would be a good match, so the
older sister played matchmaker. I agreed to at least give the
younger sister a chance, so I tried to set up our first date.
But, I never actually got the chance to go out with my friend’s
Why? You might be surprised.
The younger sister would only agree to go out on a first date
with me, IF I promised to marry her!!!
I would not make that kind of promise. Sure, I was looking for a
wife, but I was not going to commit to marriage with a woman with
whom I had never been on a date!
I still see the younger sister’s profile in Yahoo Personals
every time I look in her hometown to see who is available. We are
actually 15 years down the road. I have been in a few
relationships, including one marriage, and yet she is still
looking for her next husband.
There was another lady for whom I was very fond, and I really
wanted to date. But her deal was that she would not agree to a
date, unless I would agree to date her for several months.
I did not even know whether I would like her after our first
date, let alone like her enough to date her for several months
based on a commitment made before I got to know her. (She is also
still looking for a boyfriend on Yahoo Personals, as well.)
Put yourself in my shoes. If you were to go out with me, you may
decide after the first date that we are not compatible. So why
would you want to commit to several months worth of dates or even
marriage prior to your first date with me? You wouldn’t, would
“No Strings Attached” is the only way to date, if you ask me.
We should have the freedom to go on a date, without having to
commit ourselves to anything beyond that first date. We should
feel that we have the freedom to say no. If we don’t work
together as a couple, there should be no expectation to drag it
out for months with no positive end in sight.
We should all have the freedom to choose if we want to go on a
second date, a third date, or even a twentieth date.
We should only seek marriage because we both want to be married
to each other. We should not ever feel obligated to marriage on a
first date or third.
So here I am. I don’t want to lie to you. My personal integrity
will not allow me to lie to you.
But, if you want me to agree to multiple dates or marriage before
we go on our first date, then the only way that you and I will
ever go out is if I let my integrity fall by the wayside.
The only commitment I can make to you is that if I like you, we
can go out twice. If we continue to mutually like one another,
then maybe we can go out on a third date. And maybe some day, we
will decide that we would be a good pair in marriage.
And if this is not acceptable to you, then I might have to throw
my personal integrity out the window, and lie to you, just so I
can go on that first date with you to see if we could be a good
If you don’t want guys to lie to you about the future, then
don’t ask them to commit to something that no person in their
right mind will commit to before the first date!
Lance Metzger writes about relationships, offline and online
dating. Our no-strings-attached dating site has become a popular
online adult dating destination, due to its large membership
base of people looking for relationships of all kinds. Learn
more at: http://www.nsadatingsite.com/
Consider Lance’s new Kindle book, “Making Memories: Creative
Dating Ideas”: http://raintreepublishing.com/creative-dating-ideas/